THE OFFISH ROMANCE.

A self-mended heart, my 2years constructive journey.

Be jolly, positive and peaceful. 

Many neglect their gut feeling and submit to emotions, only to later drown in sorrow. Being expressive about the way you feel is by far the best remedy to healing. My council to anyone who is going through the phase of heartbreak, "Love can be overwhelming". Always consider reason over affection, our counterparts know which areas we are prone to crumble. The unrefined may use it against you. Do not overlook the truth and maintain the relationship based on societal etiquette. I am certain that is where most of us fumble. When you are truly inlove, you tend to invest your time and energy to making sure that the union doesn't turn out to be a failure. Why do we overlook tocsins at the beginning, only to grumble after the goosebump juncture? You call most of the time, you are the one messaging, you always set up dates and many other anxieties. Do not turn a blind eye just for the sake of succeeding. They are all signals of jeopardy. 

Let me share a healing method that was essential to me getting over my melancholy. I took time and reflected on moments where I felt my partner was not fully invested as I was. I then discovered that it was way beyond bad manners but norms she won't discard, mainly because she sees nothing uncanny in her conduct. I had a choice to decide whether I be tolerant of her behavior or try to build a relationship as everyone has their "Flaws". I am ecstatic that I seeked lucrative associations elsewhere. You can not be with someone who bases your companionship to compromise. I believe that is where most of us get it wrong. I can be accomodative to tangibles but be impatient to character traits. An example can be, I can be understanding to a partner who is unemployed, but less tolarent to bad manners. A lot of people confuse that distinction, hence I find it very difficult to date within my age range, especially in this era.

Take your time and not rush into the next relationship. Befriend your prospect, get to know them without expressing how you feel. Take a look at where you failed on the previous relationship then rectify those mistakes, as your relationship is platonic at that point and time. Find out what you and your imaginary aspirant share in common, what are your dislikes in her personality, what are hers in your traits, then mold eachother to being the type of campanions you so yearn to be. When you both progress to being sexually affectionate, I believe that the personal boundary is open for more exploration. This strategy has proved to be effective for me. I strongly believe that if we focus on the personality of  the person we are physically attracted to, it may pave our way to successful relationships. We should disregard tangibles as both of you may attain better resources. I may drive a BMW at the moment, then tomorrow my partner affords a Porsche. If the union is characterized by material, the unification will surely deteriorate. Do not rely on your partners resources, be independent.

When I titled this article the "OFFISH ROMANCE",  I pondered about all the barriers that prevent promising relationships from becoming a success story. It is no surprise to me that I am progressing because I made sure I take my time and not rush into another correlation. When I think about it, it would have been an impulsive move. I will confess, It was not a serene experience but rather a 2years self-development expedition. Being celibate in that process groomed me to not think like the cliche male, intercourse never shadowed my  judgement. The repercussion of sharing a child with an unwanted partner is a lifetime of regret. I am jovial that I still have the choice  of selecting the rightful partner without the worry of having a child and another woman in my life. 

Be calculative.

Be assertive.

Learn from previous mistakes.

Rectify your mistakes.

Take your time.